Helping People Through Doubt

By Bobby Conway

If you’ve never heard the agony of a doubter and despair of a near apostate, I would like to provide you a glimpse. In 2013, I received an email from Jane [a pseudonym], a teenage girl in the final stages of doubt—marked by depression, despair, and nearly ready to depart. Here’s what she wrote:

Hello Bobby, my name is Jane Doe. I’m a seventeen-year-old Christian. I’ve been a Christian for many years. I’ve always had God inside of me keeping me comforted. There’s always been that comfort inside of me. But lately, I’ve been in what I would call a “crisis of belief.” Lately, I’ve been having doubts in my head about the Bible and what it says. For example: How’s it physically possible for one to rise from the dead? Is it really God or is it all in my head? Why isn’t God there to help me when I really need Him? Doesn’t the Bible have Scripture saying that He will help? Sometimes the doubts are statements that electrocute my mind and belief, such as: “You’re wasting your time.” Or “You’re believing a fantasy,” and “It’s only a part of your brain that makes you believe.”

…But it’s not like I want to believe these doubts. Because when I think of them, something burns in my heart and mind. My depression begins to act up badly. Lately, I’ve had many anxiety attacks about it along with other stress. It’s not helpful when atheists surround me in my school too. There really aren’t many people I can ask for help. So, I’m asking you. What do I do? Because I’m scared to say I’m lost.

Can you sense her agony, emptiness, confusion, and split mind? Of course, I responded, but unfortunately, I never heard back. And many times, I’ve wondered how Jane turned out.

. . . By listening more closely to Jane’s email, we’ll consider [several] practical ways to help doubters through doubt.

First, if someone reaches out to you for help, validate the courage it took to ask for help.

Jane did the right thing. She reached out for help. As she said, “There really aren’t many people I can ask for help. So, I’m asking you.” And I’m glad she did. Regrettably, sometimes people don’t know where to turn when they’re battling doubt. More regrettably, some Christians have been taught to never doubt. But think about that. Unexpressed doubt is still doubt, right? Therefore, isn’t it better to have expressed doubt that can at least be addressed than for someone to suffer from unexpressed doubt? It’s hard to address what’s unexpressed. And unexpressed doubt doesn’t go away just because the doubter remains silent. That said, when a doubter expresses their doubt to us, we can consider it a tremendous honor that they are willing to be vulnerable enough to entrust us with his or her pain. I’m thankful Jane turned to me for help. While I don’t know if my reply ever did, I do recognize that she was courageous to reach out, and I wanted her to know that.

Second, realize that Christians aren’t immune to doubt.

Jane admitted, “I’ve been a Christian for many years.” Perhaps her confusion was tethered to the idea discussed above that Christians aren’t supposed to doubt. I don’t know. But I do know this: Doubt doesn’t discriminate. Doubt isn’t a Christian problem. It’s a human problem. And in the absence of certainty, the question remains: Which worldview best closes the doubt gap? To walk away from Christianity is to walk into another worldview that is all too ready to greet you with a new set of doubts. As I’ve often said, if Adam and Eve could doubt in Paradise, how much more are we susceptible to doubt living in Paradise Lost? Doubt is no stranger to the characters in the Bible. Scripture is replete with doubters, from Adam and Eve, to Abraham, the psalmists, Habakkuk, Zechariah, John the Baptist, Thomas, and many others.

Third, don’t underestimate the angst doubters feel by not sensing God’s presence.

You can sense Jane’s bewilderment: “I’ve always had God inside of me keeping me comforted.” But where did that go? That sense of with-ness she once knew hung over her like a fleeting memory. That’s because her life had been disrupted by doubt. Doubt does that. It unsettles us. And that’s no way to live. Without resolve, doubts eventually lead to what Jane described as a “crisis of belief.” Hence, the reason her comfort was all but a memory. It’s hard to feel comfort during a crisis, but it’s also hard not to end up in a crisis if we always expect comfort.

When doubt settles in, comfort turns to discomfort. Peace turns to panic. Calm turns to chaos. Clarity turns to confusion. We go from sensing God’s presence to wondering if He’s present at all. And that’s all part of the agony for the doubter. We can’t underestimate the existential pain the doubter experiences. The person who walks away from Christianity without first feeling flayed through the process of doubt is a person who never had an intimate relationship with Christ to begin with. You won’t find the true Christian celebrating their doubts. No, they will loathe them. And like Jane, they will long for God’s comforting presence once again.

Fourth, identify the type of doubt inflicting the doubter.

Jane had a growing list of doubts. As you will recall, she had questions about the resurrection, existence of God, unanswered prayers, and the Scriptures.

I appreciated her list of questions because it helped me decipher the type of doubt she struggled with the most. When it comes to doubt, there are different types. There are moral doubts, where what God’s Word says about a moral issue is now under debate. There are emotional doubts, where someone struggles to reconcile why God allows suffering. There are spiritual doubts, when that ancient serpent, the devil, seeks to dismantle faith as he whispers, “Has God said?” There are volitional doubts, when one doubts God’s plan for their life. And there are also intellectual doubts, when one’s doubts can turn suspicious and cynical of truly ever finding resolution.

While there’s nothing wrong with a little skepticism, we want the right kind. When our skepticism causes us to be suspicious of truth, then we should be skeptical of our skepticism. For Jane, it’s clear. The type of doubt that she was primarily suffering from was intellectual doubt. And you can see why. For she said, “It’s not helpful when atheists surround me in school.” Perhaps they even instigated some of her doubts, which were also emotionally depleting her. . .

Fifth, discern the difference between authentic doubt and antagonistic doubt.

Some people doubt simply to doubt. Perhaps they possess a superiority complex that enjoys sitting in intellectual judgment over Scripture. Others hate their doubts. They aren’t looking for doubts, but rather, doubts find them. Somewhere along the way they find themselves bumping into questions that they struggle to reconcile, which, in turn, develop into doubts. Antagonistic doubters celebrate their doubts to move beyond their faith, whereas authentic doubters confront their doubts to resolve them. When we think about Jane, it’s evident that her doubts weren’t antagonistic, but rather, she authentically desired resolution. The problem was that her doubts were metastasizing and overwhelming her to the point of despair. What she needed were some solid answers to help assuage her doubts. Fortunately, the questions she had aren’t hard to answer. And yet, unfortunately, she didn’t know where to find the answers.

. . . Seventh, be ready to point doubters to a solid Christian community.

As we saw above, Jane was surrounded by atheists, which was wearing on her. She admitted, “It’s not helpful when atheists surround me.” It’s not that Christians are supposed to live quarantined from the world, but they should establish and maintain relationships with a solid group of believers who they can share their doubts with when others challenge their faith. Sadly, this type of community is hard to come by in many churches. And bouncing one’s doubts off the wrong person may turn out to be a demoralizing experience, especially if the person ridicules or shames the believer for having doubts. A better posture is empathetic listening while validating the pain the doubter is experiencing. If you don’t know what to say, no problem—just be a friend who walks alongside the person who is in doubt. . .

— Bobby Conway is the lead pastor of Image Church in Charlotte, North Carolina. He is the host of the YouTube channel Christianity Still Makes Sense, and he cohosts the nationwide call-in radio program Pastor’s Perspective. He is also the author of several books, including Doubting Toward Faith and Does Christianity Still Make Sense?

image: Tania Dimas from Pixabay

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Excerpted from Apologetics for an Ever-Changing Culture: A Biblical and Culturally Relevant Approach to Talking About God, edited by Sean McDowell (Harvest House Publishers, 2024). Used by permission.

Apologetics for an Ever-Changing Culture is a practical how-to guide for conveying and upholding the Christian faith in our contemporary cultural context. With contributions from 23 leading voices in Christian apologetics and six in-depth expert interviews, this empowering resource addresses both classic and new apologetics issues, helping you

• engage confidently with non-Christians with guidance from a diverse group of seasoned apologists

• converse biblically and effectively on pressing issues including the mental health crisis, contemporary critical theory, deconstruction, gender narratives, and more

• learn practical skills for defending the faith online, teaching apologetics to the next generation, doing apologetics in the church, and helping people through doubt

Suitable for both individual and group study, this relationally-driven guide will help you honor God and love others better as you engage today’s issues with truth, wisdom, and compassion.

Find Apologetics for an Ever-Changing Culture at Harvest House, Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Christianbook.com.

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