The Little Lord Jesus Some Crying He Makes

By Paul Copan

In the spirit of the poems that have become a part of modern Christmas culture (especially the one that references a certain Grinch character), our own Paul Copan makes his contribution to this canon with the composition below, based on his recent essay on Christmas.

A very merry Christmas to you from all of us at The Worldview Bulletin!

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The Little Lord Jesus Some Crying He Makes (Told in Dr. Seussian Fashion)

You’ve heard the story lots of times

Of Jesus, Joseph, Mary,

Well, I really hate to tell it

In a way that’s quite contrary.

But so you’ll know the truth, the facts,

This story I’ll rehearse.

I’m sure that for your hearing,

You’ll be better off—not worse.

By paying heed to ancient ways,

To customs from of old,

We’ll gain new insight, learn new things.

Great wonders will unfold!

Let’s take some time to think about

Dear Joseph—that fine man.

How silly and how rude he’d be,

Had he so poorly planned.

What decent man would take his wife—

So great with child was she!—

And put her on a donkey

For a rough trip? No, sirree!

And wouldn’t Joseph be ashamed—

The innkeeper he’s waking—

To beg him: “Won’t you let us in? 

My wife—her water’s breaking”?

The Bible clearly tells us,

“While in Bethlehem they stayed,

The time came for the baby’s birth.”

Quite normal, won’t you say?

Though Caesar’s law created crowds,

In Bethl’em lived a clan.

And Joseph’s fam’ly had to squeeze

Like sardines in a can.

To go first to an inn to stay,

Ignoring one’s relations

Is such an insult in the East. 

This is the West’s creation!

There were no inns in podunk towns

Like Bethlehem, there weren’t.

But you’ll reply, “Luke 2 says ‘inn.’”

Well, still that’s no deterrent.

The Greek—it gives a simple word.

Pronounce it:  “Ka-ta-lu-ma.”

Now please let me give some de-tails,

Dispelling this false rum-ah.

The word is used in Luke and Mark

For that Last Supper room.

It was indeed a room for guests,

We wisely should assume.

And Matthew says the wise men to

A house in Bethl’em came.

It makes good sense to think it was

What Luke described—the same!

Arabia—‘twas whence they’d come

With frankincense and myrrh,

Not Babylon or Persia far—

To think thus is to err.

“But what about the animals

That lived within the stable?

Your theory’s doomed, I’m very sure.

Explain that if you’re able!”

But such an accusation fails

To keep things in perspective.

A closer look will soon rebut

Unwarranted invective!

So take it easy.  You’ll soon see

That what I say makes sense.

A careful search will show that

I’m not being all that dense.

I’ve done a lot of reading

Of the Bible’s finest scholars.

So please don’t think I’m being mean.

Don’t yell. Don’t scream. Don’t holler.

If you think what I am saying is

Just ludicrous, a joke,

Please know I’ve studied long and hard. 

I’m not just blowing smoke.

In Jesus’ time quite commonly

Sheds were attached to houses,

Right up against the living room—

Which let in many mouses.

We also sing the carol

Of sweet Jesus in the manger.

He makes no crying, so it says— 

What theologic danger!

The little Jesus truly cried

Big alligator tears.

He soiled his diapers; learned to walk,

To trust and not to fear.

The Jesus of the Bible

Was most human, there’s no doubt.

He shows us how to hope in God

When we are down and out.

And what about those angels?

Well, they had no wings to fly

But do appear as men in white

When they to earth drop by.

So here’s the picture that we have:

Our couple’s heading south;

They come to Joseph’s relatives;

It’s crowded, there’s no doubt.

But they arrive in ample time,

The baby’s birth awaiting.

The due date comes, and they’re prepared—

With fam’ly celebrating.

The guest room being full,

The birth took place in crampy quarters.

But this was not a problem, no.

Not much was out of order.

The birth was in the living room,

Right next to it—a manger.

With straw thrown in, we have a bed—

More natural, not stranger.

His birth was not dramatic—though

It certainly was humble.

What matters most is “God with us.” 

Without it, faith would crumble.

The myst’ry of that Christmas

Is not changed one whit, it’s not.

The one thing I’ve removed is

That romanticizing plot.

The Incarnation’s splendor stands.

“God with us” still’s a fact.

In all of my recounting

I’ve preserved this quite intact.

May we rejoice together

In this glorious revelation

Of God who stoops and condescends—

With humbled jubilation!

— Paul Copan is the Pledger Family Chair of Philosophy and Ethics at Palm Beach Atlantic University. Learn more about Paul and his work at paulcopan.com.

Image by Jeff Jacobs from Pixabay